i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
