he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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