Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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