arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
