New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
