I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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