i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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