she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
