so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
