How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
