carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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