Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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