Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
