So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
