At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
