Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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