I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
