i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
