You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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