I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
