Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
