Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
