Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
