The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
