drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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