He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
