There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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