I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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