Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
