I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
