I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just made my gag reflex go away.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
