She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
