I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
