I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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