I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
