i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
