Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
