I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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