worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
