i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
