Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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