cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
