Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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