i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
