ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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