The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
