i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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