Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
