i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
