i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we're making bets on your personal life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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