these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
