I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
